[attr="class","bgtk-img"]

[attr="class","bgtk-left"]

Caleb Wood

Welp, here we go.

[attr="class","bgtk-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","bgtk-post"]



Distracting and redirecting thoughts were an adequate way to occupy a wandering mind. The girl was attractive enough for it. She had a curvy and mature body, black hair straightened, makeup concealing any blemishes and the way she batted those extended lashes. Furthermore, the flirtatious connotations of her voice and overall body language made it obvious she enjoyed his company. Reciprocated interest, however, was not caused by inner desires. Distractions played a crucial role in these instances where fate was a f*cked-up bastard and placed right next to a boy he considered his f*cking type.

[break][break]

Whenever his gaze drifted over to Caleb, Johnny found his thoughts repeatedly pointing out those little traits, specifically with his expressions. The countenance shift between pondering, resolution and even confusion managed to captivate and prompt mental scolding. Entering the world of same-sex partnerships ruined everything. Mother's incessant nagging would worsen tenfold if she heard anything about it. Other women around his age were already threats to her tyrannical authority. Adding men to the equation? She would go ballistic and spout offensive knowledge similar to a holy gospel.

[break][break]

Between rambles explaining the functionality of certain equations and keywords for math problems, Johnny would distract himself with returned flirting... Until he spoke up about a problem... The scarred blonde rolled his eyes, purple hues glancing over the textbook only for the girl to interfere with his job. As the textbook drew back, the senior shot her a nasty glare. What the f*ck was that? Why the hell was it her goddamn choice?!

[break][break]

"F*ck off with that. You don't decide what the hell I'm doing," he grumbled out to her annoyed astonishment. "Shoot, Caleb."

[break][break]

Those words angered the dark-haired girl, her face transforming into a scowl. Unfortunately, her little idiotic outburst brought Johnny face-to-face with the sweet face of the bright-eyed young man... Hedging bets with his attraction was not a wager Johnny made often. One could argue he overcompensated and acted snippy while avoiding those who caught his eye. The insults he hurled to separate himself from that world he found himself uncertain of was merely another, well-established barrier... but there was one thing Johnny hated more than his internal conflictions. People telling him what to do.

[break][break]

The indirect "command" of the girl prompted a harsher vocal lashing. There were limited instances where Johnny would sit down and take it; that tolerance was saved for class settings. Tutoring though? F*ck no. He was not allowing her to decide regardless of her status of 'cute boy distraction material'. Anybody who met him needed to have the message spoken in the clearest voice. Nobody tells Johnny Darby what to do.

[attr="class","johnny-img"]

[attr="class","johnny-left"]

605 for [break]
Caleb Wood

Hope this works! I did do some writing for the girl, but wanted to avoid going overboard. <3

[attr="class","johnny-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","johnny-post"]



Shifting focus to Caleb, Johnny ignored the girl’s displeasure with his harsh snapping. Only for bright, rounded blue eyes to greet his face. The astonished expression fluttered the senior’s heart merely seeing it. The bully’s lips pressed together, Johnny attempting to show nothing across his expression. Why was this f*cker cute?! Those wide, shining blue eyes were magnificent… part of him wished he could watch them shift into a fluster.

[break][break]

Gaze glanced down at the textbook and notes, attempting to ignore Caleb’s face. The last occurrence he needed was his face flushing from some boy’s adorable face. Without sparing a glance at Caleb’s face, Johnny gazed over the steps of the question, nodding as the dark-haired young man spoke. The division answered looked right, Johnny quickly clicked the keys of his scientific calculator to double-check. Then before he could explain roots, he heard the dumb b*tch speak.

[break][break]

The glower shadowing Johnny’s face was obvious as he lifted his eyes to her. Minor actions to adjust appearance to manifest more appeal, a snarky attitude and an insistence he did what she wanted. There was an odd sensitivity in Johnny, one he was completely unaware of. Something acute that became a protective instinct after years of living under his mother’s abuse. Perhaps it overreacted, but this dark-haired woman reminded him of her. Desperate for positive male attention and catty toward anything that could be a remote threat… and suddenly the distraction was not worth it.

[break][break]

“Caleb, tell me, after you divided 1,575 by 7, was the resulting number 144?” He asked, rhetorically, even lifting a finger to emphasize, fingers clicking on the calculator; he knew the answer. “Let’s see… 225? Oh looks like a certain dumbass needs more tutoring because the final answer is f*cking 15, not 12. So maybe instead of making it clear, you’re a dumb b*tch, Ashley, keep quiet?”

[break][break]

The girl, Ashley, appeared more offended after Johnny’s rhetorical reticule. She glared daggers at the blonde, and he met her gaze, glaring right back. The tension was clear considering their stare down. The blonde was receptive until doing an abrupt U-turn at the slightest suggestion of forfeiting control. He slid the paper back toward Caleb, putting it in front of him.

[break][break]

“Erase it and we’ll do it right,” he grumbled under his breath. “Squares are when you multiply a number against itself. So if you multiply 15 with itself, what do you get? 225. Square roots are just the opposite. You are looking for the number that is divided into 225 evenly. Which is 15.”

[break][break]

There was less energy in Johnny’s response given the little spat. It became obvious he would not be scoring tonight, especially after calling the girl a dumb b*tch. Abruptly, a textbook slammed close as the dark-haired woman gained his attention.

[break][break]

“You know, they are right about you! You’re just a f*cking asshole. What even makes you think you can treat a lady like that?!” She hissed at him, attempting to make a scene.

[break][break]

Once again, it reminded Johnny of his mother, despite him being among the problematic party. There were ways to de-escalate a situation and he picked the opposite. Rather than start amending the problem now, Johnny merely rolled his eyes.

[break][break]

“Well, when you stop acting like a f*cking b*tch I will. Now if you want help, sit the hell down or f*ck off already,” Johnny snapped back at her.

[break][break]

Nothing mattered in this equation. The only thing that mattered to Johnny was being told what to do. Was it an overreaction? Most definitely. Did he care that it was? No f*cking way.

[attr="class","johnny-img"]

[attr="class","johnny-left"]

327 words for [break]
Caleb Wood

A little short too, hope this works!

[attr="class","johnny-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","johnny-post"]



Arguments were commonalities in the world of Johnny Darby. Through many years, his mother taught him to verbally brawl rather than work toward saying anything productive. When somebody angered him, everything shifted to the worst possible. Thoughts were consumed by the beliefs of Ashley attempting to assert control. The situation wreaked teenage drama, but the senior had blinders on as he glared at the woman. Caleb's defensive actions earned a brief side glance, and Johnny lifted a brow.

[break][break]

“How the f*ck is it your fault? She’s the one being a b*tch,” the bully grumbled out.

[break][break]

Immediately, Ashley shot him a nasty glare, a screeched growl leaving her throat. Her plans were unintentionally thwarted, partially because Johnny took her actions as a personal attack on shorts—a question of his autonomy.

[break][break]

“It is his fault, dumbass! You were willing to talk to me until he piped up,” Ashley snapped back.

[break][break]

The blond was moments away from retorting when he felt the tug of his sleeve. His mouth closed a little, purple eyes glancing beside him to see the cute f*cker asking him to stop with a please. The bully’s lips pressed together, a slight red dusting his cheeks as he glanced away, a little frustrated at his attraction.

[break][break]

“Fine, whatever. Just sit down, Ash… I’ll stop being a d*ck about it,” he grumbled quietly. “But none of that interrupting shit… I need to tutor Caleb too.”

[break][break]

The girl watched them, eyes flitting between Johnny and Caleb before slowly settling down. An accusation was in those eyes, the narrowing making it clear further thoughts existed behind them… However, she merely reopened the book and settled back in, still angered, but calmer.

[break][break]

“Need any more help?” Johnny asked, his eyes hesitantly returning to Caleb.

[break][break]

He could feel the fluttering in his heart. Thoughts of Caleb’s cute face entered his head between spared glances and quick driftaways. It fluttered his heart whenever he watched that dark-haired boy look at him sweetly.

[attr="class","johnny-img"]

[attr="class","johnny-left"]

626 words for [break]
Caleb Wood

N/a

[attr="class","johnny-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","johnny-post"]




Everything settled, but Johnny's heart continued fluttering in his chest. There was a cuteness to Caleb that, physically, was the blonde's type for boys. Something inside him began going haywire when Caleb requested for him to stop. The sweet face, big and brilliant blue eyes all framed by a little black hair... How was he supposed to ignore that?! The senior steadied his breathing, prying eyes away from Caleb to give himself some relief. All the while, Johnny's mind echoed to himself, similar to a mantra, about how he did not like men. A constant repeat of how masculine traits were not attractive to him...

[break][break]

Once eased in his thoughts, his gaze shifted back to Ca-... Inside the chest's cage, his heart rattled the bars because of a single action by the junior. Mouthed words of thanks meant hardly anything, but the sweet smile stretched across his face in appreciation nailed him. His cheeks tinted a soft red, lips pressing close together as his nose wrinkled in pure embarrassment over his racing heart and warming face. This was bullshit! Absolute f*cking bullshit! If Johnny could without people usurping the truth, he would have a restraining order filed against every cute guy to avoid these stupid temptations!

[break][break]

The senior blinked a few times, gradually registering what Caleb said. In an attempt to sidestep his emotions and flush, the tutor cleared his throat to excuse the break in his response.

[break][break]

"Uh... ye-yeah," Johnny answered before reiterating his explanation.

[break][break]

Gradually, Caleb appeared to get into a rhythm. The blond watched it occur with curious eyes locked onto that focusing face. The sight was enamouring. The junior's focused eyes kept Johnny's curiously locked, as though entranced by watching him start putting everything together. Mathematics was primarily formulas and figuring out which to use and how to use them properly. The exchange of notes was pleasant and while Johnny attempted to divide his attention, Ashley mostly went quiet. Time passed and while Johnny noticed when Ashley left he merely mumbled out a 'see ya'.

[break][break]

As more work was completed in improving Caleb's understanding, Johnny heard the compliment. A soft 'huh' escaped the senior's lips as he side-glanced the younger student. At this point, Johnny had leaned back in the crappy study room chairs, arms up and behind his head. He merely offered a shrug as a smug grin touched his face.

[break][break]

"Well clearly I'm just better than them, right?" The man responded, arrogance dripping from his voice.

[break][break]

A question left Caleb's lips... followed by a long ramble... The senior watched from his reclined position, following along as the junior explained... and mentioned acting and boy love... The blonde made a face. A peculiar expression appears to be "disgust" or "disinterest", but somehow off. As though Johnny was unfamiliar with the expression or thought otherwise about the mention. There was always that inner longing for a relationship with another man. The blonde knew he favoured masculine traits... but also knew the cruel words that awaited him if he ever expressed those longings.

[break][break]

"So what? Are you into that gay shit too?" The blonde mumbled, ignoring the initial question.

[break][break]

The inquiry framed peculiarly in Johnny's mind... Part of him wanted to know to enter a rejection campaign of the 'bisexual' part of him to cement the false reality of merely being heterosexual... but the other part was curious... As though secretly wanting to torture himself with knowing whether or not he would have had a chance. Harsh phrasing to protect himself from someone thinking he was interested in the same sex... The threat of his mother lingered, furthermore, his chosen companions would incessantly mock him for his preferred attraction... It was a burn Johnny learned quickly after all.

[attr="class","johnny-img"]

[attr="class","johnny-left"]

461 words for [break]
Caleb Wood

N/a

[attr="class","johnny-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","johnny-post"]



Stiffened shoulders were an easily noticed reaction for Johnny. Consistently, he talked down about same-sex relationships due to his inner desire to repress the bisexual side of him. Yet, despite the aggressive way Johnny spoke about it, something was stirring inside him, secretly hoping Caleb would state an interest... Not that he would kneel and plead to date him. The inner war brimmed with endless complexities as two sides tore him apart. Beneath his desire for intrigue was a hidden, frightened wish he would be told the cute, dark-haired boy was straight to eliminate the temptation.

[break][break]

Despite it being unspoken, Johnny hated how much others controlled those desires. How the way he leaned in sexual preference somehow meant something to other people... Risks could not be taken less he found himself abandoned by his friends and mother, even if he f*cking despised her very existence. Few were willing to tolerate his preference and he doubted many would want to date him long-term. Quietly, he listened to Caleb's answer, eyes glancing at him through peripherals. The initial sentence immediately instilled doubt in Johnny, as though he could not believe someone was accepting of another individual's preferences.

[break][break]

Everything about Caleb had a little too much goodness in it. A sweetness Johnny could not comprehend. The lack of belief he held deep in his soul weighed him down similar to a 50-pound weight... Yet, he wanted to believe Caleb, somewhere deep down considering it bode well for human society to have kind people. That lack of belief failed to ward the faintest hints of pink flushing his cheeks a little bit... Then he caught it, the apologetic expression that tugged at Johnny... Perhaps it was the cuteness of the dark-haired junior, but the guilt began digging into him, similar to steel claws...

[break][break]

Shame derived from the words Johnny stated in anger about his situation. However, the fact Caleb was right with male partners was not helpful to his situation. The blonde's eyes strayed, unable to gaze at Caleb for the time. The invitation to enact ridicule was greeted with silence for once, as though Johnny was debating it.

[break][break]

"Just keep your gayness to yourself," he eventually grumbled out. "Understood?"

[break][break]

The slightest whisper of an aggressive undertone to the words, but additionally, the slightest bite of sorrow. The manner Caleb talked about it threw Johnny off. The acceptance of people's criticisms of his gender preferences was baffling... The opinions of others condemned Johnny to rampant denial of his preferences... but Caleb seemed bothered, but unafraid. He knew the harmful words that could have been slashed but remained honest and open... Compared to his mother who masqueraded as a victim and spoke endless lies, somebody who appeared truthful was peculiar... despite Johnny's struggles to believe him.

[attr="class","johnny-img"]

[attr="class","johnny-left"]

351 words for [break]
Caleb Wood

N/a

[attr="class","johnny-lyric2"]I'll bury myself in my bed

[attr="class","johnny-post"]



Whenever Johnny hurt someone, he felt a weird sense of justification. As though inside his mind, the blonde believed he was protecting himself from future pain. Endlessly, the people said to be protectors harmed him and reminded him how worthless he was. The young man was taught by his mother how everything was his fault and how his worth was a negative value. Yet... where there was justification this time, there was a pang of guilt intermingling with it. The innocent way Caleb rambled on was... somewhat endearing... Additionally, watching the pain on Caleb's face made Johnny oddly uncomfortable.

[break][break]

Immediately, his gaze shifted, refusing to look at Caleb as he stumbled over words. That silence lingered as Caleb shifted the topic back to math and the tutoring. The senior stared straight ahead, not wanting to indulge in the pain he caused today... The whole situation felt rejecting in some aspects. As though he yanked acceptance from his own hands, similar to how his mother grasped away at him. However, it hardly mattered given his circumstances... Mother dearest's actions demanded he crash and burn before his time at Panacea Academy ended... before he found himself trapped by his mother again... miserable.

[break][break]

Depression would continue winning this war, tearing down motivation like a rabid wolf. At the mention of ceasing the session, Johnny lifted a brow and shrugged at him.

[break][break]

"You're the dumbass. Do you need more help or what?" The question was harshly spoken by the bully.

[break][break]

Would ridiculing Caleb create a barrier that spared him from temptation? Potentially. Therefore, it became the number one method to resolve the situation he was trapped in. If the dark-haired cutie despised him, then there was no chance of dating him! A fool-proof plan in Johnny's opinion after the feelings he was showing... Most students who were Johnny's type already hated him or never looked over at him with an innocent sweetness that made his heart flutter... Overall, pushing away, as always, was for the best to defend himself from problems down the line with his mother or the few friends who bothered with him.